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SEVEN DRUNKEN NIGHTS (2)

As I went home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door, where my old horse should be
I called my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
who owns that horse outside the door, where my old horse should be?
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more
but a saddle on a sow, sure, I never saw before

As I went home on Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door, where my old coat should be
I called my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
who owns that coat behind the door, where my old coat should be?
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
That's a woolen blanket that my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more
but buttons on a blanket, sure, I never saw before

As I went home on Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair, where my old pipe should be
I called my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
That's a lovely tin-whistle, that my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more
but tobacco in a tin-whistle, sure, I never saw before

As I came home on Thursday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beside the bed, where my old boots should be
I called my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
who owns them boots beside the bed where my old boots should be
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
They're two lovely flower pots my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more
but laces in flower pots I never saw before

As I came home on Friday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed, where my old head should be
I called my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
who owns that head upon the bed, where my old head should be
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
That's a baby boy, that my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more
but a baby boy with his whiskers on, sure, I never saw before

As I came home on a Saturday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I spied two hands upon her breasts, where my old hands should be
I called to my wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who's hands are these upon your breasts, where my old hands should be?
Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
'Tis nothing but a Living Bra Jane Russell gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
but fingernails on a Living Bra, I never saw before

Now when I came home on Sunday night, a little after three
I saw a man running out the door with his pants about his knee
So I called to my wife and I said to her: would you kindly tell to me
who was that man running out the door with his pants about his knee?
Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, and still you cannot see
Twas nothing but the tax collector the Queen sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But an Englishman that could last 'till three I never saw before


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